Graphic by Sarah Schudt
Romantic love is just a nice cliche
Valentine’s Day, what a cliche. What is the point when his chivalry only lasts the day? The red roses are vibrant but the color quickly fades, and as quickly as you came, your gaze turns the other way. This poised image of love, dipped in gold, is really starting to get old.
Now I won’t lie, it does sound rather nice. A hand to hold and someone’s jacket for when you’re feeling cold, the scent of roses in the air accompanied by the sweetest of stares. I must say, I do understand the liking of this cliche… But who would want a cliche anyway?
I, personally, am a child of divorce and as a result, my idea of love is rather damaged. I want to be this hopeless romantic, I want to be able to love the concept of love but my mind can’t help but think of the potential damage.
I like to say I was never taught how to love, I was only taught how not to. I knew the yelling would lead to tears and I knew the tears gathered, turning what was once love into hate and it was something I watched nearly every day. As I’ve gotten older, I know that love doesn’t always happen this way and every once in a while, you find a connection between two people that never goes away. I do have faith in love but no matter how hard I try, the heartbreak that can come with love, is always something I keep in the corner of my mind.
Focus on friendship this Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day is a time when husbands bring home flowers for their wives, couples organize fancy date nights, and kids exchange cards with their crushes. But the focus does not have to only be on romantic love. Friendships are just as important on this love-themed holiday.
It is normal to want to be in a romantic relationship for Valentine’s Day, especially because so much media surrounds it. Many people will watch romance movies and read romance books during February, and they may even fantasize about being in those situations themselves. However, I have found that appreciating my friends during this time can be just as emotionally fulfilling.
Desperately wanting to find a person to fall in love with can end up affecting your mental health. The Mental Health Foundation says that it does not matter what relationships you have, but how close those relationships are is important. Instead of focusing on relationships that may be missing from our lives, we should nourish the ones we already have.
Do not be afraid to ask your friends to be your Valentine this year. You can go see a movie, go out to your favorite restaurant, or even just hang out together at home. Buy each other cheesy cards and boxes of chocolates. Maybe spending this time together will help the two of you become closer. Whatever it is that you do, try not to lament about the things that you may consider missing from your life, and instead appreciate the people you already have who love you.
It’s not about money: keep original spirit of day
America commercializes everything, even religious holidays. One of the most notable examples of this is Valentine’s Day.
Originally a saint’s feast day dedicated to Saint Valentine, an early Christian martyr, Valentine’s Day began to be associated with love in the 14th and 15th centuries. For a long time, Valentine’s Day was personal. Although people sent out Valentine’s cards and called themselves valentines, it wasn’t the mass-produced phenomenon it is now. It was only in the 1840s that companies began to create merchandise and capitalize on the holiday. Valentine cards began to be sold in stores, conversation candies became huge, and people realized that you could take a holiday centered around love and make money off of it.
It is sad to me that a day that should be about your loved ones is used by companies to sell anything from TV to soap. It’s important to look at why we originally celebrated Valentine’s Day, and what we can do to make sure we keep that spirit. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about how much money you spend; it should be about the people you care about. We shouldn’t just express our love for people on one day that has been oversaturated with commercialization.
Big companies don’t have any emotional stake in making Valentine’s Day meaningful. It is in their best interests to stuff their products with anything that might incite you to buy them. There’s nothing wrong with buying chocolates or flowers, but the intent behind those gifts is what matters most.
Holiday can bring back innocence, nostalgia
Valentine’s Day is different for kids and adults. When you get to a certain age, Valentine’s Day turns into dates, flowers, and love. I remember from elementary school it wasn’t anything like that. You would bring treats to school like candies and desserts with little cards attached that said something sweet on them.
I always loved getting those gifts and passing my own out as well. I will never forget the nervous feeling of sweaty palms and your heart beating out of your chest when handing one of them to your crush, even though you had passed out the same thing to ten other kids already.
Whenever the day comes around I always try to remember those same feelings of innocence, nostalgia, and compassion.
Love is all around, and it can be magical
Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Whether you’re in love this Valentine’s Day or not, I’m sure we’ve all known what it feels like to love, be in love, or be loved. And I think it’s pretty magical. I love love.
When Valentine’s Day comes up every year, I tend to see a lot of people sad or saying how they will be alone forever and have nobody, but do we really have nobody? Love is all around us, we just have to look.
Just because you’re not in love this Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you aren’t loved. Love is in your coffee, in your drive to school or work, in the grocery store. Love is everywhere. I truly believe that. Love doesn’t always have to be about a significant other, it can be with yourself, your parents, friends, literally anything.
I’ve always desired to be utterly and completely in love with someone, as I’m sure everyone has, but what we don’t realize is that we have all that love right there in ourselves. And I know “love yourself” is cliche and boring and something we don’t want to hear, but one thing I have learned from these past two years is that you have to love yourself. It is a beautiful journey.
And for those of you in love this Valentine’s Day, good for you. I think we need more love in the world, especially during these times. I hope you get to spoil the person or people you love this holiday. Really appreciate the people you have while you have them. Things can be rather simple really. We tend to overcomplicate love when we don’t have to.
What love means to me is finding the people or person who makes you excited and like a little kid again. People who want to know how your day was, people who buy you something for no reason just because they thought you would like it.
One of my favorite shows ever is “Grey’s Anatomy.” Shocking, I know. The character of Mark Sloan, otherwise known as Eric Dane, said something that sticks with me:
“If you love someone, tell ‘em. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing, even if you are scared that it’ll cause problems, even if you are scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and say it out loud. And then you go from there.”
He captures how simple love can really be. So whether you’re spending this Valentine’s Day with a lover or alone, know that you are loved and that love can be found anywhere.
You must be logged in to post a comment.